Roller Coaster

First thing I want to say is I hope everyone had a great Christmas. He went to work for a couple hours in the morning and I was preparing I found this brown sticky stuff folded in a bunch of wax paper. I have no idea what it was but I threw it out. I figured if it was drugs he would of stashed it better unless it was a mistake because it was mixed in with his business cards. I went about my morning getting ready. Family came over and to say the least my boyfriend was entertaining. He was high but on what I have no idea. It wasn't his usual opiate high. This was he was too happy and acted like a 5 year old at times. Honestly it was a little embarrassing but my family basically just laughed at him like he's an idiot. For what ever reasons he slept the whole weekend. Who can sleep off and on for 48 hours? My family comes over on Christmas eve so yes I spent Christmas day alone and the day after. In a way it was peaceful but when he was up he grabbed food and left the mess for me. I'm not a neat freak but its just me, him and my doggie - the house should never be a mess. When he was in rehab the house was clean. We work 10 hours a day and sleep from 10:30pm to 5:30am..thats 17 hours of nothing.

How in the hell does the house get so dirty. Simple answer is he's a pig and expects me to clean up after him. ahhhhhhhh no. Monday morning he's up and getting ready for work at 6am. So I ask him what is he doing. He said he's getting ready for work. Sunday he told me that him and I were going to work 9-1 this whole week. He yelled at me and said I told you twice that it was just you that could work 9-1 this week just you! Well I know what I heard but screw it, I'll leave at 1 - don't care. Than he lost his wallet. Now he's tearing the house apart looking for it. He asked me if I saw it and I said no. I really didn't but he says of course you didn't. He storms out and leaves for work. No good bye to me or the dog. I get ready and he pops up at home and finds his wallet in the night stand..dumb ass and than leaves. Again no good bye. WTF..I get to work and of course I'm irritated this is not how I wanted my week to start. He asked for something and I respond in a regular voice and he comments how I'm being pissy. He leave to go look at a job and all I got was I'll be back I'm looking at a job. The picture you see in this blog is what he did to my laundry room. Its always neat. Nope I am not cleaning this up. What did I do to deserve this? I guess a better question is who the hell does he think he is that he can treat me like this? This is the roller coaster that I need to get off of and I will - trust me I will. It'll hurt but I believe its going to hurt more to stay.